Nicknames! (Day 2 of 30)

That went well, I think!

Soooo, this’ll probably be a pretty short entry, cause I haven’t had a lot of nicknames in my time. But it’s got me here, and it’s got me writing, and that’s the main thing, even if it’s a short entry.

So, nicknames. Like I said, I haven’t had many. I guess ’cause I’ve got one of those names that nicknames itself quite easily? Like, why come up with something like, uh, “Meatfist” when you can just call me, “Jess”, right? So most of my life, it’s just been Jess. I guess there was a bit of Jessie in there as well, when I was a bit younger, cause that’s cute, right?

True story about my name, though. My 3 year old brother actually named me Jessica. It’s one of those family legends. I’m surprised he didn’t bring it up at the wedding, actually. But yeah, story goes, everyone was sitting around trying to think of what to name me. I don’t know if Jessica was on like, a short list of names or if he just pulled it out of the air, but no shit, the three-year-old rapscallion folds his arms, puts his nose in the air and says, “I don’t care what you call her, I’m calling her Jessica.” And that’s how I got my name.

I guess I have a sort of reverse nickname, in that my Dad, who has always been very proud of my name, used to go around calling me Jessica Louise. Another true story about my name, when I was about four or five, we ran into a friend of my parents they hadn’t seen in a long time, who was now, by coincidence, also pregnant. Upon hearing the name “Jessica Louise” she decided she liked it so much that she would name her own daughter that. And she did! For reals! So there’s a girl wandering around out there also named Jessica Louise, who is actually named after me.

Now that you all know my middle name, the next nickname will make slightly more sense, perhaps. About the time my brother finished high school and started going to uni, he decided, for some reason, that Jessica Louise, nicknamed down quite nicely to J-Lo. You know, like the singer. This became somewhat of a running gag between us (mostly him) where he would ask what was happening in the R&B world, and how was the new record deal, etc etc. This, actually, leads to another true story. He was sitting on a train once, coming home from uni or some such. It was fairly busy, but not peak hour. Anyway, he decides now would be a good time to call, probably cause I haven’t seen him in weeks. I pick up the phone, and I hear “Hey J-Lo! How’s that new hit single coming?!” said at the top of his lungs. This apparently led to an awkward moment for him, as many people turned around and looked at him in awe and astonishment as he, a lowly student, sat on a Sydney train and spoke casually to Jennifer Lopez.

Haha, true story.

My Dad also used to call me Brontosaurus Jessicalis, but I can’t think of any funny stories to do with that one, and to this day, I don’t know whether he was just being cute, referencing the fact that I liked dinosaurs, or just making a crack about my weight. So let’s move on.

The final nickname I’m going to talk about is one that I use probably the most often, but hear the least. A riddle! But no, it’s my internet handle! Notsocryptic. There is a story about how it came about, in fact, and I relish the opportunity to tell it, because I really dislike the cryptic nature of internet handles. In fact, that sentiment is exactly where it came from.

I was talking to Tom on MSN one day, trying to think of a new internet handle. I can’t remember why. Maybe my usual one was taken or something, I don’t know. The point is, I was trying to think of a new one. And I hated everything we came up with. They all just sounded like they were begging to tell a story or represent a weird and kooky aspect about myself that everyone on the internet should be aware of. Oh, the irony, huh? Anyway, the point is I hated them all. And I said such to Tom. I believe my exact words were, “I just want something that’s not so… cryptic? You know?” See what happened? And I went with it. I thought it described how I felt about the situation exactly.

And that’s how that happened.

Okay, well, I guess this entry wasn’t as short as I expected it to be! Turns out I have more nicknames and stories than I thought! Tune in tomorrow when I’ll be talking about… my first love?! Oh boy. I’m gonna have to do some thinking about that one. Tune in for the awkwardness!

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Externalised memory priestess from the elemental plane of pink. I hyperbolise every second of the day. On Twitter here.

5 thoughts on “Nicknames! (Day 2 of 30)”

  1. I don’t think I actually knew the thing about a girl being named Jessica Louise after you, before! So there you go, I am totally learning things. Unless you told me before and I forgot, which chances are might have happened, but I honestly don’t remember.


  2. Why must you test my maths???

    Cool stories…so the only story I have about a nickname is soggy…cause I cried a lot in primary school…I think it was Laura Logan who used it first…but Kate might have too 🙂

  3. Awesome stories!!!
    I think I knew about the girl being named after you, it rang a bell. I didn’t know about you being called J-Lo though. I remember when I first fiqured it out and I smsed you. I think you just ignored me and I must’ve then just forgot about it. It all makes sense now, I’m nowhere near as smart as I thought I was. Whhhhhaaaaat a dumbass.
    Looking forward to more stories! STORIES!!!!

  4. HAHA j-lo! thats beautiful! Me and my brother called eachother Wads. Like, at the time that was hillarious to us… like it was a fake swear that we could say because we just made it up and couldnt get introuble about it… but now that I think about it I still have NO idea what we were talking about. haha kids ey, wtf!

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